Divorcing The Earth 1st chapt.

DIVORCING THE EARTH

Chapter One
Broken Wings
Kevin thought of all the ways he could do it. Then he thought of Ty. It’d been a little over two years since Nikki was killed. Nothing had been right since. Kevin turned away from the passenger side window and glanced over at Ty, pretending he was taking in the scenery on the other side of the highway for a change. He realized that they had been driving in silence for at least the past fifteen minutes; except for the new Transit Kings album that was playing.
“Hey, do you remember that old gravel road we used to drive on? The one with the big ass hill?” Kevin asked. “We used to go down it at night doing fifty with our headlights off?”
Ty eagerly reached over and turned down the volume a couple of notches. “Hell yeah I remember! That one time, you almost killed us.”
“Hey it’s not like I did it on purpose. The gravel was loose.”
“Not to mention, you were stoned off your ass,” Ty said. “Well that too,” Kevin admitted. They both laughed. “Do you remember how you felt…. like right before we straightened up and just barely missed running into that bridge railing at the bottom?” “All I remember is the sound of my own screaming…and Randy’s,” Ty chuckled.
“Yeah, ya’ll were both yelling like a couple of bitches. I was in control the whole time man,” Kevin said with a smirk.
“Yeah, right.”
“Well ok…maybe I didn’t know what was gonna happen, but..I dunno it’s like I was ultra-focused, or something. I mean even when we were almost sideways going down that hill, and I was looking out the driver’s door window trying to steer, I remember thinking two things. One, we gotta get across that bridge without running into it or going off the side. Two, I remember thinking how alive I felt. You know?”
Ty looked at him sideways with one raised eyebrow, contemplating the joke he was going to respond with, then pausing to consider whether he should be worried by the statement or not. Kevin was always a bit of a dreamer, but there was something in the disconnected tone of his voice that unsettled Ty, and it wasn’t just the nostalgia of their reckless, younger days.
Before Ty could respond, Kevin spoke again. “ I wonder if that’s how you feel right before you die? I wonder…”
“Hey!” Ty said. “I know you miss her, We both do. Everyone does Ok?”
“But I wasn’t even talking about….” Kevin trailed off. Ty turned down the C.D. player even more. “Look,” he said. “All I know is you haven’t been yourself for a long time. And no, I don’t know how you feel. I can only imagine. I just know; from when my dad died… you don‘t ever stop missing them. You just get used to them not being there.”
Kevin puffed up and clinched his jaw. “Yeah, but I’m sorry; your dad died in his sleep from an aneurysm … He went into a comma and didn’t wake up again. He didn’t have to….I mean he didn’t know..” Kevin had to stop. He felt the sting of a salty flood welling up behind his eyes, and the half-formed mental images that followed were just too much to bear.
Ty was silenced by the caustic comparison. Kevin knew that it wasn’t like Ty to shrink away so easily; and he suddenly felt bad. He didn’t mean to down-play Ty’s loss; he knew that Nikki had been his friend too and he was only trying to help. He couldn’t believe the ring of hatred in his voice that still hung in the air. After all, Kevin and Ty had been friends for over ten years, and maybe Ty missed the Kevin he used to know just as much as he missed the love of his life.
“My bad, man.. you know I didn’t mean it like that,” Kevin said, rubbing his eyes wearily. He was surprised to feel the stinging creep up again. This time, at the thought of betraying his friend. He’d felt so numb lately. He pushed it down and continued, “I guess …I know, you’re right. I mean I haven’t felt like myself for a long time. It just gets kinda fucked up sometimes. Especially around this time of year.”
“I know man, that’s because it is fucked up,” Ty said in an un-faded, assuring voice. “But hey, that’s why we’re taking this trip. We’re gonna meet up with the rest of the gang. We’re gonna take a good ol’ fashioned road trip, and we’re gonna have a badass weekend in a badass cabin! Cool?”
“Yeah…more than cool.”