Race & Stuff

It amazes me and really disappoints me to see how far off base we seem to be on the subject of race. The recent controversy with Obama and the comments made by the pastor of his church. Not the comments themselves, or pastor wright - but the way people or maybe just the media rallied around it & it reminded me or showed me that we're still basically at a first grade level when it comes to race relations. Maybe I'm naive, but at the same time I'm completely practical about the need for us as a society to be able to get over these speed bumps and break out of these circular arguments.

When it comes to love for your fellow man or woman, I don't think it's something that can be forced upon people. And I don't think that change is going to come from the top down. It has to come and is coming more from the bottom up. By that I mean...just regular people. Individuals. Everytime someone has a personal experience w/ someone of another race, its going to either open their mind or further close it.

My coworker is a white woman. Blonde haired, green-eyed with the disposition of June Cleavor. She's really one of those people that are a pleasure to be around and tries to look at things from a positive perspective. However her last name happens to be Perez because she married a hispanic man. She talked about how his family was so much against him marrying outside of his race and religion...but they fought through. They married when she was 17 and had 3 great kids. They have a home in Cedar Hill, but she told me she couldn't tell the # of times she's gotten pulled over b/c the cops out there ran her plates & saw the last name Perez. And she happens to be the mom in the neighborhood where her teenage son's friends like to hangout at. Alot of her son's friends are black. In fact his best friend who's like part of the family, is black. Their daughter dates a black guy - so these are people who obviously aren't prejudice...but to hear from a white person about being harrassed in a small community and about getting profiled and pulled over many times....is kinda strange. And even though their kids look white, they get harrassed for their name & who they hang out with. But I was happy to see on one of her son's myspace page that he proudly named himself half-breed. It gives me hope for people changing things from the bottom up, when i see that their is obviouly still this taboo that exists. It's addressed more now, and even joked about but all of it is retoric that dances around the issue & serves to distract from the core things that really get down to the real reasons we whence a little bit inside when certain thoughts even cross our minds.

I happened to be out the other night with a friend of mine that is a white girl. We dated at one time but now we're just friends. We made plans to meet at TGIFridays...and while i was on my way to meet her, she called and said that she had met a nice couple and that they had challenged us to a game of trivia once i got there. When I got their i was introduced to a very nice, young, married inter-racial couple. (which i hate the word interracial- it sounds like your mixing somthing up or distorting something ha) Anyway, it happened to be the husband's 33rd birthday. I happened to be wearing a concert shirt of an obscure band that he happened to know so we hit it off pretty quickly. The wife was outgoing and fun and very nice and she got along great with my friend. And typically i tend to be color-blind but at one point, as we were playing computer trivia and joking and getting to know eachother-the funny thought occurred to me that the married couple we'd just met and me and my ex girlfriend were like mirror images of eachother. He was the really laid back, friendly guy with a good sense of humor that was quick-witted and charming. (toot toot haha) but a little more reserved than his very gregarious - social, friendly wife...and their was sort of a novel, almost refreshing connection their. And yes, in case you were'nt sure - the husband was a nice looking black guy with dreads and friendly demeanor and his wife, who was 6 years younger was a petite white girl with blonde hair who happened to be very cute. I sensed that we were being watched in the restaurant. Normaly i don't even notice that type of thing anymore..but obviously people stare at interracial couples...even if they sneak little guilty glances like they're watching something they shouldn't be. But this is one of the times that i was aware of being somewhat of a spectacle in a way. We were invited back to their house were we hung out and got to know eachother better. It was kind of inspiring (from the bottom up point of view) to see they had been married for 10 years and had a beautiful little girl...and they seemed really happy and suited for eachother. They shared stories of not being accepted and adversity they had to go through but also encouraging stories of acceptance and the difference they've made in eachother's lives. Towards the end of the evening, when we were recalling how we had just met & eachother's first impressions as complete strangers. The husband said, " you know when i knew u guys were cool?" He said it was when I showed up. B/c my friend had been telling them about me before I had gotten there, but she never once mentioned that i was black..and i wasn't what they expected. So even though in a way we were probably even a little novel to eachother it was kind of a nice surprise & from the get go, it was just shown that it wasn't something we considered un normal or even worth giving special attention - even though we could talk about the color lines and similar experiences, thoughts and beliefs...comfortably and w/out any reservation. It just makes me think about how things really have to change, if they are going to. And that's from the bottom up, from real people...individuals. Coworkers...friends, lovers, children, family, and strangers. Everytime you have an experience on a real level w/ a person of another race and you're able to put aside the stereotypes & the hate we've been fed, or even do just the opposite and bring it to the forefront as something that's ok to discuss - you're helping to change things. I think that's more where our hope comes from b/c it certainly doesn't seem to be coming from the powers that be nowadays.